In the past, relationships have been left to survive solely on feelings of attractions, temperance, and bland communication. But all of these changed with the advent of the wonderful book written by Dr. Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages. You see, apart from bringing a new perspective to humans and our emotional side, the book put communication in a relationship in a whole new light.

The Meaning of Love Language

Look at the love languages like this; they represent the tongue our hearts understand subconsciously. Just the way some people understand English and can speak it, some understand and speak Japanese, etc., we all have a dialect our heart understands perfectly. 

The Types Love Languages

These vernaculars of the heart are categorized into 5 types:

Quality Time

This refers to spending quality time with someone. Taking a walk or reading a book together, people who fall under this category, cherish the times spent in the company of their partners. Absence or constant distraction during these times can hurt people who love quality time.


You are probably thinking to yourself heh, who doesn’t like gifts, but hey, some people prefer something else above the receiving of gifts, there are those whose heart speaks this language. Gifts in this sense are not necessarily material-oriented, they can range from flowers to showing up on special occasions. Lack of things like these hurt folks who speak this language.

Physical Touch

Yeah, it is what you are thinking, and more, people who fall under this category value the physical touch of their partner more than the other languages. Things that fall under this dialect include hugging, holding hands, kissing. It is important to note that this can be sexual or not, it involves sex but is not all about sex. People who value this language want the physical presence and touch of their partners.

Acts of Service

People who fall under this category appreciate it when you go the extra mile for them. They value it when you act out your words, this can be picking the laundry or cooking their favorite meal or even drawing a bath for them at the end of a stressful day. It might look like more compared to the others but trust me, you will love the results.

Words of Affirmation

This involves giving of compliments, saying you love them, and even using pet names. Don’t just assume that they know you love them; you’ve got to say it all the time. To people who love words of compliment, praise, encouragement, etc., insults can be very hurtful to them, so avoid it.

Which is your love language?

Now, you know the five love languages. Find out the one your partner loves and let them know the ones you appreciate. The beautiful thing about finding out is that an individual can have up to three love languages. 

A good way to discover them is to observe the ones they like to exhibit. We often display to our partners the tongue in which our hearts speak. For example, a person who gives gifts a lot will almost certainly love receiving them. Someone who never misses an opportunity to let you know they love you will most certainly love to hear it from you.